20 Things Men Do That Women Don’t Know About

1. Flush mid-pee and race the toilet.

2. Instead of using twist-ties to close the bread just spin the open end of the bag and tuck it underneath.

3. When I am in the shower, I like to cup the water to my chest and then watch it splash to the floor.

4. Entering beast mode running up the stairs while alone.

5. Fantasizing about their female friends. Yes! All of them!

6. Thought about freezing time …. and then doing naughty things to people.

7. Every man has woken up with morning wood and had to do the leaning tower of pisa to hit the toilet.

8. Checked online to see if their length is adequate. Yes, even your pastor.

9. All men at one point in their lives have given the nod to another man for one reason or another. They have also given it to a woman, only to receive a look of confusion.

10. Blow nose into hands in the shower.

11. Wave the bed covers to small a fart.

12. While peeing tried to cover the entire surface of the water with pee bubbles.

13. When writing a comment on a girl’s Facebook, I read it a million times after sending it to make sure it doesn’t sound dumb.

14. Imagine how you would save your workplace, school or whatever from fire or terrorists and be the hero.

15. Looked at their poop when finished thinking they must enjoy the masterpiece they created.

16. Watch romantic comedies alone with no one present so that no one knows.

17. Take off my underwear and then kick it up into my hand and feel like a goddamn ninja master.

18. Delete search history on my computer.

19. Aim your pee at the edge of the toilet water or higher to avoid people knowing you are peeing.

20. Tried to see how far away you can step backward while peeing and still keeping it in the bowl.

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