Toxic people are the most poisonous for a person’s life. Think about your best friend. Remember that time she was with that boyfriend who was complete trash. Then you know what it is like to watch someone who is so important to you, waste their time on someone who is not worth their time. It is very frustrating, for both you and the person in the relationship. So then why do people stay in toxic relationships?
With that being said, it turns out it may not be a person’s conscious choice, however, but the toxic person influencing them. There may actually be an explanation as to why people find it so hard to leave a toxic relationship. The way that our society is being shaped, it makes it hard to turn our backs on someone who is vulnerable and toxic, causing us to have unhealthy relationships in life.
In a research study in San Francisco, 1,150 adults agreed to let researchers monitor their interactions with people on social media. This included 11,000 people! Their circle on their social media ranged from family to acquaintances.
The people participating in the study were asked to describe the relationship with every person in their circle. What researchers were focusing on is the people who were labeled “difficult” or “demanding” and why the people remained in their lives if they are so toxic.
Among the participants, the reports given were often very similar. They felt a social pressure to keep the toxic people in their life’s. They felt that if they tried to cut the toxic person out, there would be bigger issues that they would have to deal with, making it difficult to escape.
Most of the problems came from people who are in the middle of the participant’s lives. One prime example is the toxic co-workers. The participants in the survey felt they could not “cut out” the toxic co-workers because they would still have to face them every day at work. They felt that this would cause a hostile work environment and make things uncomfortable. Therefore, they kept the toxic co-workers as their friends, even though they are not friends.
The next hardest category that was popular amongst the participants was toxic family members. Since they have the same blood running through their veins, they felt that if they cut out one toxic family member, that it would then cause problems with other family members, who didn’t agree. This would cause the chances of confrontation to be extremely high. Therefore, they keep the toxic family members around.
The most common family member that appeared to be toxic was the brothers who are between 21 and 30 years old. These brothers came across as difficult. With that being said, they also have fewer qualities that would make them easier to deal with.
Unfortunately, mothers were also described as being difficult to deal with. However, mothers have a lot of positive qualities that make it easier to keep them around, even if they can be a pain in the butt. The age range for the difficult mothers was between 50 and 70.
With that being said, the participates decided it would be easier to keep the toxic family members around because it would be easier to be quiet than to cut ties with them.
On the other hand, spouses were low on the list and very rarely were they described as toxic or difficult, even though this is the hardest relationship to deal with. Nowadays, it is said to be easier to deal with toxic relationships because people are not as scared to walk away from an unhappy relationship. Divorce is not frowned upon nearly as much as it has been in the past.
It seems that friends are the easiest toxic relationship to escape. If you cut one person out, it doesn’t really affect any other relationships that you may have. Only a small percent of the participant’s said they had toxic friendships.
The biggest problem people face with leaving a toxic relationship is the setbacks that may come along. There is a social aspect that can be affected. Likewise, there may also be a financial set back as well, depending on who the toxic person is. It is not the most ideal situation, but it does make sense.
There could always be more complex factors that attribute to the reason people do not leave toxic relationships. Women were more likely to be deemed as difficult and toxic than their male counterparts. Unconsciously speaking, a person may have a bias based on someone’s gender. Females are often threatened by other females.
Women have a stronger role when it comes to being in people’s lives. Females are the mom, the sister, the friend, and many other things, that cause them to be a strong presence in other lives. Since they are considered the caregivers, men find it easier to label them as difficult because they feel as if the women helping can be overbearing. Culture, in general, can be very sexist towards different genders.
In conclusion, the participants shed a lot of light on toxic relationships. Now we can better understand what causes someone to stay in a toxic relationship. Unfortunately, you may have to keep the toxic co-workers around until you are in a different job, or they are in a different job.