Just for the record, I’m not angry at you. It hurt. It was horrible, don’t get me wrong. It hurt more than I can ever explain. I don’t think you realize the damage that you have done to me mentally. I have told you time and time again how much you mean to me and yet you still went and did this to me? There was nobody that came before you. You were my number one. You still went and betrayed me; you betrayed us.
I know I wasn’t perfect. Hell, you weren’t perfect either (Although, I thought you were pretty dang close). To this day, I know that neither of us are perfect. However, I still cannot come up with any reason or idea to why you thought it was okay to betray me like that? Can you tell me a good reason as to why you thought it was okay to destroy my trust?
The worst part of it all, is I wonder if you even tried to spare her feelings. I am used to your games. I have already been dragged through the mud with you, but she was just an innocent victim in your games. Maybe if you would have asked her if she thought you were exclusive or asked her if she thought you were something serious, maybe you could have spared her innocent little heart. However, that would mean that you care about someone other than yourself, and we both know that isn’t true. I, honestly, cannot believe I fell for this stupidity.
The day I found out everything, you came home, walked up to me like it was nothing. You came and kissed me and asked me how my day was. You told me how much you loved me. You told me how much you missed me all day. I will never forget the look on your face when I asked you who she was.
I will never forget how pale your face went. Your hands dropped from around me, and you stared at me. I told you it was time for you to go, that you should never come back. I screamed and yelled so loud that the neighbors probably thought someone was being murdered.
Turns out the only thing being murdered, was our relationship. You left. You never did return to me. Thank you for that.
You did me a huge favor by never coming back. It turns out she wasn’t the first, and I’m sure she won’t be the last side piece that you have. So many people have come forward with proof of you cheating. There are times you told me you were going out with the boys and it turns out you were at other girls houses. There were nights you were having fun in other girls beds when you should have been in my bed. What I’m really mad about is that I didn’t know before it hurt. It doesn’t really hurt that bad. In fact, if anything, I think you taught me a lesson. You taught me what I do not want in a relationship. You taught me that I have higher standards and that I deserve so much more than you.
I completely fell for you. I thought you were the most amazing thing ever. You were my world. I really thought you loved me. You looked me in the eyes and told me you loved me. I believed you.
You know what the worst part is, I still love you. I still don’t want to find someone else.