There are too many personalities that exist in human beings that you would be unable to give a certain number. However, in all of these numerous and diversified personalities, there are 3 personality traits that no one should ignore. They are so terrible that they have been nicknamed the Dark Triad Personality traits.
So what are the members of this dark triad personality? They include, you guessed right, narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism. These 3 personality traits come with a danger zone sign because they are known to be very prone to selfishness, have a total disdain for other people and often wield a cunning and crafty mind.
But what are these 3 personality traits and how can we recognize them?
According to Wikipedia, ” Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one’s own attributes.”
“Machiavellianism is the employment of cunning and duplicity in statecraft or in general conduct. In modern psychology, Machiavellianism is one of the dark triad personalities, characterized by a duplicitous interpersonal style, a cynical disregard for morality, and a focus on self-interest and personal gain.”
“Psychopathy, sometimes considered synonymous with sociopathy, is traditionally defined as a personality disorder characterized by persistent antisocial behavior, impaired empathy and remorse, and bold, disinhibited, egotistical traits.”
So, now you know what the three Dark triadic personality traits are. That is something we know. However, nobody is certain of the number of people who do have one or more of the dark triadic personality traits and exhibit the symptoms. From a rough estimation, we have reached the unsure range of, 1 to 10% of people have one of the traits.
The people who have one or more of the Dark triadic personality traits are known to be self-centered and have a narrow view of the world which is mostly just made up of their own opinions. And they would never try to put themselves in someone else’s shoes to know how it feels to be them, to see the world through their eyes. They are totally inflexible and have such a firm hold on their opinions that maintaining a relationship is always hard and most often than not are perceived to be very egotistical and controlling.
They see everyone, and everything as a means to an end and even their relationship partners are also used for their own selfish needs and for them to be able to do that, they need to have total control over their partners.
One of the methods they employ in trying to gain this control includes gaslighting. It is a form of emotional and psychological abuse that mostly narcissists use to make their victims doubt their sanity and to discredit them in the presence of other people. The second their partners are done serving a purpose, they are easily killed or just thrown away like trash.
You can understand why in the light of the kind of things that they are capable of doing based on their extreme levels of selfishness, a question has been raised about them. Can a person with one of the personality traits of the dark triadic personality traits be able to feel love for their own children? It’s hard to say when we don’t have all the facts, so let’s go look around you.
THE NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY LOVES ONLY ONE PERSON, THEMSELVES
This is one of the most important things to know about a narcissist, and it is an unchallenged truth, one that would help you in your dealings with them and would prevent you from getting manipulated by them. That truth is that narcissistic people only love themselves at the end of the day, everything is a well-orchestrated show for the public.
One researcher who has been studying people who have one or more of the traits that make up the Dark triadic personality traits, Dr. Neo Perpetua, has enforced the fact that the narcissistic person truly loves no one else but themselves. She further explains that people who belong to the dark triadic personality group do not have any empathy. It is something that is pointedly missing in them and that sort of isolates them because they are unable to make any good relationships with people. They are unable to love other people not always that they are unwilling.
Narcissists do settle down with someone and have had kids of their own even if that’s not always advisable because the children end up growing up without love and children need the love and care of their parents to develop correctly. But then narcissistic people have children, and no, they are unable to love them. Instead, their children are viewed the same way all other things in their lives are seen, tools. They see their children as pawns to be used for their own gain.
Unlike a normal adjusted family who would love and nurture their children to be their own people capable of navigating the world, the narcissist lives through his children using them to further his own goals.
A narcissistic parent would encourage their children to do well or just induce them to do well just so that they can use their achievements to impress every other person. Their children are seen as trophies to be brought out only in the presence of people they want to impress and then not remembered again until they want to show them off again. However, their children are not given any privacy or independence at all. Every aspect of their lives are managed and controlled to produce the best results for their parents. They would want to be privy to every little thing going on the lives of their children even up to the point of reading their diary and invading their privacy. At some point, their children would learn to erect and keep emotional and mental barriers to keep their parents and every other person away.
They would also place a huge burden on their children to always project a perfect family to the world even if the family is just hanging on by a thread. They would also be the usual scapegoats of their narcissistic parents need to feel superior often taking in a lot of demeaning comments.
Narcissistic Parents would also abuse their children emotionally, and one of the first things to do when abusing someone is to isolate your victim which narcissists do to their children. Their kids aren’t allowed to form any deep friendships that did not include the family dog and their siblings. Deeper friendships would open the door for an outsider to figure out that something is wrong with the family dynamics and a narcissist would rather die than be exposed for the monster that he is.
The child will have to be an outlet for all the narcissist’s emotions
PSYCHOPATHIC FATHERS WOULD ALWAYS ABANDON THEIR CHILDREN
The narcissistic parent would use their children as some sort of emotional punching bag. They would demean their children and destroy their self-esteem just so that they can feel better about themselves. Making their kids feel inferior makes them feel superior. Seeing their children sad and starved for affection makes them happy because it gives them a kind of god complex and a feeling of utter control over the lives of their children. But all of this occurred when their children were young. Now, the kids are growing up, and it isn’t all that easy to make them feel inferior, and neither are the children needy for love, they have grown calluses over their heart and needed nothing from their parents. More than that, they know. The children know that what has been done to them was wrong and that isn’t normal. They might not say anything, but there would be a subtle shift in the dynamic of the family as the child has reclaimed a part of his life from his parents grasp.
Now, the narcissist is running scared, and so they don’t do anything that is so overt to undermine their kids. No, they resort to vague comments meant to tear down the self-worth and self-esteem of their children.
The narcissistic parents aging body does not help matters. All of a sudden, he is no longer in control, and he has also lost a lot of admiration. They feel washed up, and the fact that their own child is now in his prime is a never-ending source of pain and unhappiness for them, and that would make them feel a little bit more insecure.
The biggest blow would come from having to watch their children grow into themselves, discover who they mold themselves into hardworking, honest men. The type of person they could never be. They would fight with the last burst of every they have to ruin it all for the kids by trying to undermine their efforts and saying so many terrible things to them in a last ditch effort to damage them irreparably because they are afraid of what would happen now that their former victims are now in control.
How old habits die hard, and that is why even while they try their hardest to deride you and all your achievements they would also be the first to try to take the credit for your hard work just like in the old days. If their children have made it into professional sports or have become a famous musician, they would be the first to mention all that they had supposedly sacrificed to make sure that their child made it there.
THE FAVORITE CHILD AND THE DISAPPOINTMENT
Some families have that one child who is the Golden boy or girl as it might be. The one that does everything right. The one who gets good grades, is in a dozen school clubs, never parties, never breaks curfew, never drinks and is going to Harvard University. There is also the black sheep of the family. Almost every family has this one too. That child who would skip school, party practically every night, break the rules at home, break the curfew so much that if he ever comes back before curfew, it’s a miracle, and has terrible grades and cannot get into college. That is the dynamic of an average normal family. When it comes to the families of the people who display one of the dreaded 3 personalities, it is a whole new, different ball game depending on how many children they have.
While in a normal house, the kids become either the Golden child or the black sheep by choice, the case is a bit different in the home of one of the people who has one of the dreaded personalities.
In this family, the parent just picks one child to be the Golden Child. This child would be given everything he ever asked for. He would be cosseted and offered all the opportunities in life. It does sound really cool and exciting huh? However, it isn’t all that it is cracked up to be at least for the kid. They are always living life at the edge, scared to disappoint their parents and afraid of what would happen if they did. They live according to their parent’s demands so that they can enjoy the love and attention of their parents.
The second child of these parents would be branded the black sheep. Unable to ever get anything done rightly. They are always being blamed for whatever negative thing that happens in the family. They are always being compared to the Golden boy and made to feel that they would never be as good as that one and so unworthy of their parents love. With this treatment, they would have successfully pitted one child against the other causing an otherwise avoidable conflict.
If they have a third child in the picture, then he would have to be ignored thoroughly. No one would even ask about his well doing, his day at school. It would be as if the parents only had 2 children from the way the third child would be totally ignored and made to feel not only insignificant but also inferior to his siblings. This can cause resentment among them. All of this treatment was just a way of making sure that the children never create a close bond among themselves that would enable them to have the emotional support system that their parents denied them.
But would the children of parents who display one of the 3 personalities of the Dark triadic personalities inherit them? This worry is coming from children who have parents that have one of the 3 personalities. What if it were inherited? It would pose a problem to the society but thankfully, psychotherapist, Michelle Piper has assured us that although it does get inherited, it has only happened to a number of people and cannot be used for a general yardstick for other people.
On further discussing the dynamics in the home of a dark triads personality parent, Dr. Michelle explained that most dark triad personality parents need control over their kids lives so much that they even try to prevent them from growing mentally so that can always be in charge of their lives and control their every single move.
But when the children grow up, it’s inevitable that they would discover their parent’s perfidy. They would know that something wasn’t right in their upbringing but may not be able to clearly pinpoint the way. All they would have known at that time was how to make their parents happy all in a bid to enjoy a bit of their parents love.
These kids although grown up will always bear the scars of their horrible childhood. Any of them would have already built walls to keep people out of their bruised, love-starved heart. They would be closed off, untrusting and extremely independent.
Other kids would become so conditioned to being put down, accept it and move on with their lives. They would always have subversive attitudes and are forever trying to make everyone happy.
But of course, their futures are tied to what type of child they were. The future of the golden child is almost secure. He is to have the best of everything which includes college. He is going to be given every advantage in life to make it, and so he becomes the man who does as his parents wish every time they make a request because he never learned better.
The second kid had a much different life. At every point, his parents put up blocks for him. They didn’t want him to have any advantage at all in school or above the Golden Child. Soon, the kids learn to live in their own space and to rely solely on themselves, and this is why they grow up to be the very astute men. They have broken free of their parent’s domination over their lives and now live for themselves, doing the things that make them happy.