Being in a relationship with a narcissists or sociopath can be an ordeal of a lifetime. It is a soul draining dance with the soulless. And most of the time, you don’t know what you are into till the ball dance is over.
There are the 5 fingers of death that sociopaths and narcissists feed you if you have a relationship with them.
All roads to hell are paved with good intentions. Although that may be applicable to normal folk, such can’t be said of narcissists. Evil has been the motive from the inception of idea and plan.
Only to be coated with what looks like good. Little wonder they start their relationships with fantasies of surreal magnitudes.
This dopamine drenched experiences kick off with an overdose of affection. Swiftly followed by making you feel you stand high above the rest of the world.
One characteristic of them you will find almost impossible to notice is their unbelievable charm. They know what to say, when to say it and when to do the do. Their Is are dotted and Ts crossed.
They flood you with promises and drown you with gifts and admiration. At this point, you wouldn’t believe your luck. You have found your soul mate – or so it seems.
It looks like all your values, likes and even trivial dislikes match – just as if you stared in the mirror. Well, to an extent you are right because the narcissist is just mirroring you. They are masters of the craft.
At this stage of the relationship, their moves are very much intended. They want your guard down. They also want you addicted to this dopamine surging stage in the relationship and you will ask why?
Well, as the big bad wolf that they are, this is to make the neglect stage more hurtful. For them, your pain is their pleasure and they want higher doses of pleasure.
True colors can’t hide too long and so they eventually show. They begin to blow hot and cold. One minute they are affectionate, the next they are not. They could even abandon you for days or weeks at a time.
Now, this is a ploy to get a reaction from you as that is the only way to satisfy their ungodly desire for attention.
Also add to that, covert and overt criticism meant to belittle and degrade you. A painful public jibe here and there to go with it. And this is just the tip of the iceberg.
The torment doesn’t end there, they result to often times mindless silent treatment – which can test your sanity. And mind you, this is all part of the plan.
Coupled with that they will constantly be on the edge of what your boundaries can take – seeking to expand them. This is all part of the narcissistic thrill.
They are masters of evoking emotional reactions from people and boy do they love to toy with your buttons.
With their actions, it seems like they keep asking ”how much more can you take before you explode into a thousand hot lights of fume and frustration.”
It’s all part of the plan and your reactions are just a trigger for the next phase of your relationship to set in.
Once you begin to react to such weird behavior, they delightfully make their next move. To them, you have fallen prey and in most cases they are right.
They initiate the blame game. Now to some extent, most normal people find it harder to identify their own short comings but there is a limit to such issues. But as with everything about a narcissist, he/she has no limits.
They can never be wrong and will only apologize if they have to and even if gut rejects such. They are usually insincere.
And when caught pants down, they will refer to some childhood trauma or ex-woes as the cause of chaos. The triangulate – constantly comparing you to some other person, to make you feel that your position in the relationship is threatened. This is to get you to ”fight hard” for their attention thereby feeding their narcissistic needs.
You get it right? It is all about the need for attention.
They tend to play down on their misgivings no matter how atrocious they are. And instead of apologizing for wrong behavior, they will accuse you of the very same sins the commit.
For such people, the moral compass is warped.
At this point, they a bored of their toy. Adventure calls and they must answer and no one can stop them – and that includes you.
But they don’t leave you in peace. They will spread lies against you. This will be done to tarnish your image so they can appear as saints to everyone.
They will also threaten you with shame, guilt, and violence at times. They could also go as far as stalking you. The last time they want is for you to have any closure.
The very depths of hell.
When it is all said and done, you will be physically, psychological and emotionally drained. You will feel worthless and lose respect for yourself.
This is because you will feel like a fool for not cutting ties sooner than later. Then anger and resentment follows which will only lead you further down the path of depression.
It is advisable to see a psychologist for help.