If you clicked this link then you either did so out of some casual curiosity aimed at escaping some sort of boredom or you need some advice because your relationship is not doing great. If you are the latter, welcome. For all intents and purposes, this article was written for you. If you are of the former, you are still welcome. I am glad my words would provide both distraction and value for your wandering mind. Alright, to the meat of the matter.
I have been in many relationships that I had no business remaining in. But I stretched my stay there for one reason or the other. None of which was worth it in the long run. See, a majority of us are blessed with a sixth sense. That uneasy feeling in the gut about something – not right. But we often ignore it to our own detriment. And we do this because we think that there is nothing better outside there. Which isn’t true. We get overwhelmed by the horrible situation we are facing in our relationships and then begin to believe that maybe we deserve all the terrible things that happen to us in our relationships. And that we don’t deserve better.
A relationship that is headed for the rocks gives a lot of warnings and signs pointing in the direction of its fate. But more often than not, the people involved ignore them. And that makes the delayed but inevitable breakup overdue and more painful. Here are 7 signs that alert you to an endangered relationship.
1. You no longer feel in love
This may sound very cliche but the value of the message stays potent. When you think of your partner and you don’t feel that excitement you once felt at the beginning, then you are probably out of love already. You know what I mean, right? The hearty laughs, butterflies in the stomach, the unexplainable smiles when you look at him or her and the child-like joys you share when you are together. All this are recognizable signs of a couple in love. And although they can have emotional deeps, if you have seemingly never-ending plateaus of mere indifference towards each other, then something has gone wrong. When it seems that your partner has lost his or her mojo and the relationship its spark, then some fixing has to be done.
2. You lose intimacy
Now, you might be saying that sex isn’t everything and you will be right. But it is a cornerstone of your relationship and when that is on the decline the relationship slowly begins to crumble. It is pretty unusual that partners in a relationship are not physically attracted to one another. You guys should cherish the time you spend together because it won’t last – assuming the relationship is to progress to marriage, kids would take up time and energy. And you guys bite your lips at the way you wasted time and energy you guys had for each other.
Insignificant things such as smooching, kissing and the likes. When you begin to realize that these are fading away, then your relationship is due for some maintenance. Something has to be fixed because it looks like you guys are not physically and mentally drawn to each other. If that’s the case then an honest discussion should be held concerning the matter. But if that is just a symptom of a deep-seated issue, then it should also be trashed out. Anything but continuing in the rot is acceptable.
3. You don’t trust their advice and support anymore
Your partner is usually the first person you go to when you need emotional support. This support is needed for major life decisions such as taking a job etc. But when you don’t feel comfortable asking for such support from your partner, then something is off. If you find out that you would rather seek this emotional support from someone else than your partner then something needs to be done. This could be an eye-opener to the emotional state of your relationship. Your emotional needs are not met and this will only grow into more discomfort by the day. And will ultimately lead to frustration and resentment.
4. You willingly indulge in never-ending quarrels.
No one actively seeks constant bickering and bitter fights, but when you begin to lose interest in your partner some way or the other, you will find yourself engaging in such fights on frequent bases. When the excitement of love is gone then infighting and negative tension will slip into the relationship. And quite frankly, the said couple would subconsciously indulge in that than face a relationship filled with boredom. So all you see is red and you are almost always in attack mode.
What you considered attractive becomes dull and unimpressive. You see everything wrong with everything and even begin to enjoy getting into fights over the littlest of things. You can’t continue that way because it all ends in a relationship that is very toxic.
5. When your closed ones worry for you.
Now, this may seem hard to get, but if your close ones – including family and friends, feel that your relationship is kinda toxic then maybe you should look into it. Remember that they have interacted with you a lot longer than your partner and can probably tell when you aren’t yourself. Sometimes these situations could tricky, it may take you stepping back to make sense of the situation. Pay heed to them, they could be the fresh set of eyes that reveal your relationship for what it really is.
6. You dread spending time with your partner.
I am strongly in support of the notion that everyone needs personal space and some healthy sense of individualism. Even flourishing relationships should adhere to this principle. As this is paramount to mental health and development as an individual. You can’t and shouldn’t try to stick to each other like glue. Experience different things as individuals and bring a fresh back a fresh presence to your relationship. Without this, your relationship will easily get bored and your experiences stale.
But if you will rather see a stranger that see your significant other, then something is wrong. It is expected that you guys should spend a substantial amount of quality time with each other. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t get your ‘me’ time of family time, but when you don’t look forward to shared time with each other than something should be done.
7. All you see is their flaws.
Everyone has flaws and no one is great all around. You wouldn’t find a single soul with the embodiment of all the wonderful characteristics you want in someone. But that is usually not the point, you just need enough to be comfortable with the lack of others. So, if you find yourself picking holes in every single thing they do, then you may have fallen out of love. You are just going to make yourselves miserable, save yourselves the misery and end the relationship.
With all certainty, there are people who would appreciate them for who they are. This is because everyone is unique and so are their motivations and needs. Don’t make it any harder for the two of you, let them go – it’s what’s best for everyone.