It really can be painful when a person discovers that after investing their time, feelings and energy they have been duped into being in a “fake” relationship. So, what are fake relationships, and what are the signs you are in one? Let’s look at this scenario.
You meet a good guy and after the initial getting to know each other period you develop a closeness and connection with each other. Before long, you have become a couple, and not long after that, you fall in love with him. Your feelings have become invested in this person and the relationship. Both of you might live in distant places or even in the same town, but may not have enough time to hang out with each other. Nevertheless, both of you do look forward to talking to each other and hanging out whenever you can make the time. To outsiders, it may seem to be a perfect relationship; A lovely woman who has a devoted, loving man who wants nothing more than to take care of her. However, it could be all an act, and underneath the surface, they do not feel any emotional ties nor do they have any psychological entanglements with their partners. Couples stay together for any one of millions of reasons. People stay together for their children, or because it is comfortable, or because they don’t want to hurt the other person. Is this a “fake” relationship?
A fake relationship is where one or both of the partners pretend to feel emotions for each other, but those feelings are lies. It is a waste of time to be a relationship, based on lies. It would not only hurt because your partner is lying to you, but it would also sting because of the feelings you have invested and the betrayal you would feel. Realizing that the person you love, the one you have been planning happily ever after with, does not love or has never loved you despite what he or she said, is so heartbreaking. It is better to save yourself the stress of being in such a relationship by knowing the signs that show that your relationship is fake.
Here are the six signs that say that you are in a fake relationship.
6. BOTH OF YOU HARDLY EVER MEET AND DO NOT HAVE THE URGE TO MEET EITHER.
One of the most real signs of a good relationship with is the connection between partners. You just can’t keep your hands away from each other. You would do anything even sacrifice your rest to spend some quality time with your partner. Being with your partner would generate one of the best feelings of happiness and satisfaction especially when both partners love each other. But if for some reason, that urge to be with each other is not there, and both of you make half asses attempts to spend time with each other, then you don’t feel love for each other.
Asking each other about their day and sincerely wanting to know, and be involved in your significant other’s life is a natural urge that builds up in someone who loves his partner. It is a need you can’t deny and which you don’t even want to deny. If perchance both of you are staying in different cities or countries and just cannot make time to see each other as frequently as you would want, the special late night phone calls and conversations would suffice as a means of having a connection no matter how long the distance.
If for you and your partner, things are different, then it should be a Red Flag. If the only time you ever know that something new has happened to your boyfriend is on his Facebook page, then something is wrong with your relationship. Both of you lack two essential qualities of a good relationship, which is communication and connection.
5. BEING A DIFFERENT COUPLE IN PUBLIC
You may be living in a fairy tale if you think that you and your lover will always be perfect and happy with no quarrels. Only in an ideal world can such a relationship exists, and unfortunately, we do not live in one. If you ever see a couple like that just know that it is fake or just a show for other people. No couple is that perfect that they don’t ever fight or disagree. Usually, this couple is good at being extra lovey-dovey when they are in public and doing ultra-romantic to make people envy them. In private, it is an entirely different scenario. They can’t even be bothered with each other.
Doing romantic things for your significant other in public is not a bad thing, but when there is a considerable drop in doing those romantic things when you are alone, then there is something wrong with your relationship. It may be fake, and it just goes to show that both of you are only putting up a front for other people.
4. YOU DON’T SPEND ANY QUALITY TIME WITH THEM.
When people in a relationship are genuinely interested in each other, they enjoy spending time with each other. They’d always do anything possible to make sure that they set aside time for themselves even if it is just to hang out and talk about silly things. These little things strengthen the bond between allows them to develop and maintain a good line of communication and deep connection. Besides, spending time with each other would go a long way into stockpiling the memories that you would make with each other.; Memories that you would always have with you. Spending quality time with each other would also contribute significantly to your happiness. But if you don’t feel happy to spend time with your partner and you don’t even notice their absence nor miss them, then it merely means that you don’t have any feelings for them, and you are just wasting your time in that relationship.
If you have proclaimed to love your partner and he has also said that he loves you and yet you don’t feel the butterflies when you are together, or you don’t feel joy and happiness, you are probably not in love with them. People who are in love have a unique way about them. There is a glow, a lighting up within them whenever they are in the presence if each other and that glow us visible to everyone. They can hardly keep their hands off each other. They are always touching each other as if they can’t help each other; Tucking her hair behind her ear, removing an invisible speck of dust from his face or just plain holding hands. Whatever it is, they are ecstatic in each others presence and would often look at each other and smile for no apparent reason. They have a profound connection that enables them to know what’s their partner is thinking about and to somehow communicate without words. It is a beautiful thing to see.
If all that I have described is you and your partner, but only when you are both in public, then it is not true love. It is nothing but an act.
3. YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH HIM.
When a relationship is just in its beginning stages, and he is only courting you, there is shyness in his presence because for all that you feel for him, he is technically a stranger and you know that. But soon as time goes on and your relationship with him progresses, he moves from being a total stranger to someone you know and can talk to about anything. Not long after that, both of you become excellent friends even though you now have feelings for him and both of you attracted to each other. What matters is that you begin to feel a semblance of trust for him and long hours spent with each other soon cures your shyness, and soon he becomes as familiar as your limb to you.
But if after quite a while of being with each other, you still have a lot of your shyness and can’t be yourself and start to open up to him, then you do not trust him or love him even if you might have said so.
2. YOU DON’T HAVE ANY DEEP CONVERSATIONS
Small talk is a red flag because a couple who genuinely cares about each other would have almost no secrets from each other. They would also know a lot of things about their partners that most people don’t; Things like their partners past, their partner’s dreams and his and their partners future. These type of in-depth topics indicate an excellent line of communication and connection with each other. It also shows a steady level of interest between themselves.
If your partner avoids the deep conversations like the plague, then you need to question your relationship with him. Why won’t he want to talk about the future of your relationship and why does it seem as If your relationship is stagnant or even going downhill. Why does every single conversation be about boring, superficial things like the weather or sports and movies? It can only mean one thing, your partner does not care about you and does not see a further with you in it at all. Do get ready for the impending breakup because it won’t be long at all.
Before you walk away from that relationship, why not talk to your significant other and clear the air. Let your partner know about important things and if everything seems to point to the fact that they do not want to listen to you let alone change the status quo of your relationship, then by all means, walk away. You deserve so much better.
1. THEY NEITHER WANT TO KNOW ABOUT YOU NOR DO THEY WANT YOU TO KNOW THEM.
When a person is in love, he is filled with an uncontrollable need to know that person. What makes them laugh, cry, angry, irritated and indifferent. What does not affect them in the least and to them it is an exciting adventure, getting to know the person they love. They have a virtually insatiable appetite when it comes to listening to stories about the life of their significant other. But it doesn’t end at just trying to know them; they work as much as possible to let their significant others know who they are. They want a profound connection to their partners.
Of course their obsession with knowing all about their partner and letting their partners know all there is to know about them is just a step in the plan of a long-term relationship. They have no problem with their partners meeting their parents and would even encourage that meeting.
However, if he does not want you to meet his very close friends and family members, then he does not plan to have you in his life for long. You are probably a substitute until the real deal comes along. Do yourself a favor and leave. If on the other hand you don’t want to meet the family and would rather keep the status quo of your relationship, then you are probably not interested in anything long-term.
Now that the signs have been laid out for you, you can now tell what type of relationship you have. A fake one or a real one. If 5 of those signs, and above describe your relationship correctly, then you are definitely in the fake one, and you need to stop wasting your time and energy.